Footy star Tom Robinson reveals the awful health battle that became so bad he was desperate NOT to be called up by the New Zealand All Blacks

Every footy-mad New Zealand boy grows up wanting to be an All Black, but one Kiwi star has admitted he was terrified of being called up to play for his country due to his mental health battle. 

Tom Robinson was a New Zealand rugby union player who played as a flanker and lock for the Blues in Super Rugby and Northland in the National Provincial Championship. 

He made his Super Rugby debut in 2019 and went on to earn more than 50 caps for the Blues, scoring multiple tries and becoming a key forward. 

Robinson was also called into the All Blacks squad as injury cover in 2021, although he did not earn a full international cap.

He announced his shock retirement from the sport this October, just shy of his 30th birthday, and has now revealed just how much of a role concussions played in that decision. 

‘In 2021, I had three concussions pretty much within one season,’ he detailed. ‘At that stage I was up to about six or seven in total, I can’t remember. Too many concussions,’ he told the New Zealand Herald.

‘I remember my last season for Northland, I started to get stars in my vision. Even when I wasn’t doing contact stuff like lifting in a lineout. And it had happened before but not this often. 

Tom Robinson made the shock decision to retire from rugby this year aged just 29

The Auckland Blues star has opened up on how much the impacts of concussion had on his decision to hang up the boots

So when Robinson was called into New Zealand camp in that same year, his childhood dream of playing for the All Blacks suddenly turned into his worst fear.   

‘The thing with concussions, you can never really prove if you’ve got a concussion or not,’ he said.

‘You can do the return-to-play protocol, but it’s not like a knee where you can get a scan on your brain and it comes up if you have a concussion.

‘This battle would go on sometimes for months. And I remember at the end of the Blues season, there was a bit of talk about me being unlucky not to be in the All Blacks. 

‘But I was having this battle in my mind and I remember thinking, “I really hope I don’t get called in”. 

‘That was the last place I wanted to be. That was the dream. Dream of my whole life was to become an All Black and here I was hoping that I wouldn’t get called in.’

Robinson is content in retirement now, teaching yoga and starting a business called Zinc or Swim with former Blues teammate Josh Goodhue.

Robinson (pictured centre with teammates) said the concussion symptoms got so bad he hoped he would not be called up to play for the All Blacks 

But on his recent 30th birthday he revealed just how badly the concussion symptoms have affected his life. 

‘This time last year I was in a dark place. As the result of multiple concussions, and the relentless thought patterns I’d developed in relation to concussions, I hit rock bottom, a place I thought I’d never get to,’ he said.

‘The purpose of sharing my experience is to help those out there that may be experiencing something similar, whether it be with concussions or something else. 

‘This is for anyone that’s become so identified with that voice in their head, and that voice just won’t stop.

‘Although there were lots of highs and good times during my rugby career, most people would probably never have guessed the internal battles I was experiencing during it.

‘I think this is the case for many people, regardless of their profession.

‘Now that I look back I wouldn’t change any of the 30yrs. The dark times have led me to the place where I am now, experiencing more peace and joy that I thought possible.’