IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #480
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Thoughts on AEW: At World’s End 2024
1. Of all the things I was hoping for more of this year, it definitely wasn’t more Guns and Roses, but here we are. We had the second or third most overplayed song, why not go for the first now? That’ll be fun!
2. We’re starting off with Will Ospreay, and that’s not a bad thing, that’s a good thing. It’s a shame taking a few losses has totally resulted in him not being over anymore, eh? Gosh, despite it being At World’s End, the world isn’t ending for the 585th time… this month.
3. I am sure that if Ospreay and Danielson were in a more continuous feud, there might be draws sheerly out of both of them insisting on putting the other over. But nobody insists on putting itself over more than Kyle Fletcher’s entrance top. Them tassels are making the Warrior look toned down, but anything that ups the levels of HAM is alright in this dojo.
4. Either Orlando needs to filter some pyro smoke better, or it’s as foggy as it was this morning in Minnesota. Either is certainly possible.
5. The preshow was okay. I think it’s great that young plucky rookie Toni Storm is getting a shot. Jeff Jarrett vaguebooking though, fine. Nothing that inspired me to start writing an hour earlier though. Between this show, the progenitor of all premieres, and the Dynasty that Wrestles, there’s a lot to get in and spread out simultaneously.
6. Ospreay suddenly bleeding like a Mox match on a random Tuesday just as Nigel says “red badge of courage.” Stephen Crane himself couldn’t have said it better.
7. Is there a vampire virus going around AEW? Either that or just a lot of people around here having too many cravings for pennies. There should be concern either way, is what I’m saying.
8. Billy Goat, there’s a crimson mask and then there’s Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003. You didn’t have to go that far, we believe you.
9. “Is this gonna look like a murder scene?” Sweet mother of Susan B. Anthony, Nigel, it already does look like a murder scene.
10. Well, Rest of the Card, good luck following this. Shit, that Poisonrana looked more dangerous than it usually does, even by the standards of that move and these two doing these two things. The crowd is wound up and loud, let’s hope they maintain it better than a Jericho penultimate match on a long show.
11. Fletcher gets the Brainbuster, and while it’s not the closest 2.9 I’ve seen lately, it’s certainly up there. The timing alone that it must take to perfect that. Follow this, indeed.
12. Holy shoulder contusion, Fletcher. Good JBL, to be young…
13. Ospreay gets the win, meaning he’ll either face Okada or Ricochet in the final. I’m sure the bad faith critics will find something wrong with that, but alas. What a match to begin the show.
14. The Continental Classic this year didn’t go over with everyone as well as last year’s, and while I do think having too many repeat names was a justifiable complaint, the tournament was excellent and leaves many possibilities for beginning or continuing storylines coming out of it.
15. Bonus wardrobe HAM to Nigel for matching the show logo, well done.
16. “Final semi-final match.” That doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it?
17. Dork Ricochet is working in a way that his run until recently hadn’t, certain associations I was unfortunate enough to see lately left a bit to be desired. Will it be enough to get by Okada though? I adore Okada but he’s been in a battle with the trios titles as to whom can take longer between title defense chapters.
18. Rick O’Shea sign, followed by a BALD chant. Of course, we had Dork laugh after Swerve called him Trevor recently as well. Wrestling is weird. (And I like it that way)
19. I don’t know what Okada did to turn face, other than not WFH and save the Best Friends camera zoom middle bird for the opponent instead of the crowd. But it’s also Okada and I don’t think he was getting booed much anyway.
20. We have an early HAM contender. Okada shushes everyone chanting BALDY, bounces off the ropes, changes directions, bounces off more, then slaps him in the back of the head like Rick welched on a beer pong bet during freshman orientation. This is gold. And bald. And glorious.
21. Crowd HAM, we’ve upped the creative BALD chants to the Na-Na Hey-Hey song. This show is delivering me a Christmas sliced edition after I spent the actual day in bed with a debilitating migraine, thank you.
22. Ricochet yelling out like he just put on his blue velvet robe but heard Special Agent Dale Cooper in the closet. Can’t do that with an Okada around, it’s dangerous.
23. There’s the dramatic zoom middle finger, ya gotta give the people what they want. Especially in Florida. At least until they ban it.
24. Not usually a fan of the random skycam, but during a perfectly-executed Shooting Star Press? That is utilizing the tools at your disposal in an effective way.
25. Okada with the Rainmaker, and we’re getting Ospreay/Okada. That match did pretty well for having to follow what it did, but now… goodness. Okada still goes through the heel tunnel, because fuck you, that’s why.
26. Someone throws toilet paper at Ricochet just in time for WHOSE HOUSE? Looks like someone came out to gloat at Trevor. You picked the wrong person to forget talking shit to, friend.
27. Swerve out here like he just got elected Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, but making sure ol’ Rico indeed knows nothing. He’s gonna clean up a mess, and it looks like Swerve’s gonna go with the crowd reaction. More TP delivery for everyone. That’s good, lean into it. Nana is like wait, I got more of these to pass out from this wagon I had when I was 5! This was dorkier than Ricochet’s laugh and I loved every second of it. The HAM gods have continued to deliver nonstop.
28. Now we get Ospreay and Renee, because these two just weren’t likable enough already. Adorable, no notes.
29. Next, a Tijuana street fight with Mariah May and Thunder Rosa. Immediately cutting back to that classic match with Rosa and Britt Baker, one of the first matches I ever showed someone important to me. I think this will slap but I don’t expect Mariah to drop the title anytime soon either.
30. That At World’s End theme sounds like Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery are trying to chase down some rogue marines in San Francisco, and it sounds both epic and confusing, considering the level of silliness we’ve had tonight. Not a complaint, just funny to probably only me.
31. The original Thunder Rosa theme though, that’s an upgrade. She’s got a rainbow pinata and hugs her dad at ringside. There’s gonna be some trouble toniiiiiiiiiiight.
32. I dig both their outfit choices. The mismatching boots, those pants Mariah is wearing, nice aesthetic.
33. 1 chair. 2 chair. 3 chair. 1 garbage can. 2 garbage can. I didn’t need my hometown football team being called out like that, they’re miserable enough. Set it on fire and it might be more appropriate though.
34. Mariah pulls out the orange mist: tequila edition. I’ve never even tasted the stuff and I’m still cringing.
35. There’s another garbage can being vaulted in the air unexpectedly. There’s not dozens of allegations against the person who threw it so I can’t compare it to my hometown garbage fire quite accurately enough for effective realism though. But closer, points for trying.
36. Rosa breaks apart the pinata herself. But it’s full of thumbtacks, so someone’s about to see if they can outdo Ospreay’s crimson content from earlier. One move and I’m already squirming uncomfortably. Nigel sings because in a night full of HAM, he’s seeking his own.
37. Mariah May steals Rosa’s dad’s cane. Good JBL, you’d think she’s slap her own mother… Wait…
38. Nigel calls Rosa a “vicious banshee.” For some reason, all I can hear is Chet Hunter saying the phrase “cheese-crazed banshee.”
39. Mariah is full of stuff to throw in the eyes. She then suddenly pulls off a piledriver through a table at ringside that looked terrifying from that angle. Mariah gets the win while Nigel has to go take a cold shower.
40. Oh goodie, sports gambling and Kevin Hart saying a thing. There’s my cold shower.
41. Now we’ve got MJF and Adam Cole in the cursed angle of confusion. It picked up a bit recently… amazing how both parties being present helps out with that. But it doesn’t seem to be bringing anything but apathy. Maybe Wardlow is nearby to bring balance to the payoff force? That or Adam Cole’s friends are turning on him. We haven’t seen Kyle since he lost, so he might be over his sad eyes enough to unconglomerate himself.
42. Justin announces Adam Cole with emphasis on the “Florida” though I don’t know how effective that is, since I doubt most people in Florida are actually from there. Adam Cole is just so damn likable, no matter how apathetic anyone is toward the storyline he’s in. I’m looking forward to seeing how they resolve this in a way that doesn’t feel tedious and cursed by injury.
43. Sign: Lovely Donkey. Is that something I’m not getting like the Costco guys or is it really random?
44. Adam is busted open already. Take that Will, he can bleed even earlier in a match!
45. Multiple f-bombs tonight, they must be really upset that Moxley killed Rampage or something.
46. Adam Cole hurts his ankle coming off the top, and the cheeky grin on MJF’s face is brilliant. No wondering what he’s gonna be doing now!
47. MJF’s bleeding now too. I feel like there hasn’t been much blood lately and they’re making up for it, to say the very least.
48. It’s not so much *if* this match will shenan, but *when* will it shenan. The longer it goes, the more it’s expected, especially with the chucklefucks at ringside.
49. MJF pulls the Eddie and smacks himself into the steps, knowing said Chucklefucks will get the blame. Amazing that the refs can sometimes understand what cause and effect is. MJF grabs the diamond ring, but gets kicked in the face. Adam Cole grabs it for himself, but suffers some unfortunate consequence. MJF beats Adam Cole. Again. MJF keeps the diamond ring. Again. I like both of these performers but I still don’t care.
50. MJF isn’t done and is grabbing the steel chair. Okay, where’s the expectation and subversion? Another audible f-bomb though, between that and the blood we sure are saucy tonight.
51. Roderick Strong comes out with a song that’s up there with Danny Garcia’s as least impactful for a surprise appearance. KOR comes out there as well, but they’re not attacking. Something’s up, this seems too obvious.
52. This is getting them booed. For teaming up on MJF, but then them hugging gets cheered. Make up your mind Orlando. The Chucklefucks also come down for a reunion. This still seems suspicious. No? What was up with all that KOR drama then? Damn, now the Conglomerates are gonna have to modify their low-effort t-shirt. That’s gonna take like 3… Maybe even 4 seconds.
53. The title matches are getting saved for Collision. I guess with Rampage gone, Collision doesn’t have to be its extension. Glad to see them utilizing their time more evenly.
54. Next… Can’t think of this match without hearing the name “Meatnormous.” Takeshita has had an amazing 2024, and I’m just thrilled to see Willie Hobbs back and doing something too.
55. I don’t remember when Don Callis was wearing a fedora that screamed “My Cousin Vinny” but I’m almost sorry I missed it.
56. I was unavoidably detained for a majority of this match. It’s a MEATsterpiece, as I had no doubt it would be.
57. Despite the previous match, there have been a surprisngly low amount of shenanigans. It’s like they flipped both switches on shenanigans and blood.
58. Blue Thunder Bomb “good night, it’s over.” LOL. The nerve to act surprised that a Blue Thunder Bomb didn’t end a match.
59. Oh dear, Hobbs slipped off the turnbuckle, and I hope that’s just working it in the match. That’s the second straight match where someone has a previous leg injury and they’re working it in. Crowd chant: “please be careful” like it’s a Darby Allin match and he did… well, literally anything Darby Allin does.
60. They work their way up to the top again, and the crowd chants to be careful again before anything happens. I’m glad the fans care as much as they do, but the knee brace being taken off scares the hell out of me.
61. The way that match ended pretty much immediately, I don’t even care that Takeshita won. I just want Hobbs to be okay. I really hope he didn’t reinjure that knee.
62. Okada saying Okada things is always a reason to smile.
63. Mercedes and Stat in the rematch of arguably the best women’s match in AEW to date. I don’t think she has a chance to win this one either, but I’m sure they’ll try to outdo the first encounter.
64. Justin, that jacket and tie combination is immaculate. Matching a bow tie to the coat and the pocket square to the shirt, well done.
65. It’s not a popularity contest? What… is it then? It’s not a popularity contest in the same way student elections were. Theoretically not, but… everybody knows.
66. Stat met those LED boards, and Mercedes also went knees first into them with little to no padding. I admire the effort, but there’s enough leg-based cringing already. Stat holding Mone up in a powerslam and then walking the whole way up the steps to the apron is just beautiful.
67. Stat is wearing all baby blue, so I assume she’s losing and leaving the territory? I certainly hope not, but…
68. Top turnbuckle powerbomb on the apron, another scary bump. I am far too worried to fully enjoy the immersion tonight. With what happened to poor Bandido especially on my mind, I don’t want anyone else to have to take an extended absence, or at least not one that isn’t their choice.
69. Mercedes getting a huge ovation for the (more than) Three Amigos, and despite how many Eddie Guerrero references tend to be in a show, that deserves its props. Also hearing the chant of Eddie makes me miss a certain grumpy one.
70. This match is so well-paced and brutal and significantly distinct from its predecessor. Can’t say enough good things about both of these competitors.
71. Mercedes adds another move to the “scared the hell out of me” barometer of the evening. Sitout piledriver on the apron, close enough to the steps that Stat’s multi-injured legs bounced off them, I worry far too much to be solely focused on these. She still barely beats the count after Mercedes tries to win by countout again. The disgusted and angry look on her face is legendary. What a response by the crowd too.
72. Cliche though it may be, the long reach for the rope break is also well-placed and perfectly executed. A fight forever chant is earned, everyone is bringing it tonight.
73. The roll into the ropes is weak as hell, but if that’s the only thing that doesn’t go well in this match, that is a compliment. Mercedes wins. Again. Hell of a match, even better than the first, but damn also. Someone’s gotta get that big win eventually, but what does Stat do from here?
74. Mercedes gets emotional in the post-match, though Stat deserves an emotional ovation for her effort and I hope she gets it. She does, but also an unfortunate camera choice that shows a lot of people walking up the aisle, whoops.
75. Ospreay/Okada is next, and we are spoiled with this card. Yay, Renee and RJ! Oh, they’ve clearly got that voice going on, like when you can tell a YouTuber is about to recommend a shit therapy company but is trying to make it sound natural. Sports gambling, bleh.
76. Revolution will be in LA. Damn AEW, what is it with you and not coming here to Minneapolis again? It’s been over a year, again.
77. JR is on commentary and he doesn’t sound grumpy. We’ll see if that lasts.
78. “Ospreay already looks like a loser.” Damn, JR is Golden Girls levels of brutal, albeit unintentionally… I think. Picture it, Sicily, 1932…
79. The match itself gets a Holy Shit chant before it even starts, and despite how many matches have brought epic levels of crowd reaction, they still got plenty left. There’s no Learning Tree to be a killjoy, so that helps. Will they still have any left for the main event where Mox definitely retains? We’ll see. Are there any other matches? I’m not sure. I’m tired and it’s late.
80. “You’re not gonna beat anyone with those chops, you’re just gonna beat ’em up.” Suddenly I hear an entrance theme of a former company announcer in my head…
81. What a story they’re telling, and commentary is enhancing, even with words like “wherewithital.” This is probably the best show since All In, if not Revolution.
82. JBLdammit, not another terrifying potential-leg injury! Ospreay gets knocked off the turnbuckle and his leg gets caught.
83. He’s bouncing around okay, so far at least. I still worry. I can’t help it. (I can hear my partner right now going “we know, Ris. We know.” Almost like it’s a common theme.)
84. This show is so much fun, even with how nervous I keep getting. Where has this energy been? It’s nice to have a PPV that doesn’t feel so darksided, even with a majority of heels retaining yet again.
85. Rainmaker countered into a Spanish Fly, seamlessly. Then an Os-Cutter into a dropkick. Then Okada kicks out of the Stormbreaker. What. A. Show!
86. Ospreay sure got over that whole “Tiger Driver hurts people I care about” thing, didn’t he? No matter, Okada counters it into a Rainmaker. This crowd is decibels above On Fire status. I can’t remember the last time I was so engaged with a show start to finish.
87. Okada finally gets the win. So… Okada wins and retains, alright then. Can the title be defended more than never this time around, please?
88. Okada offers a hand and there doesn’t seem to be anything attached to it, but… there’s gotta be something else, doesn’t there? A familiar face, maybe?
89. Christopher Daniels? Okay, not who I was expecting, but I’m sure he’s not just out here randomly for congratulations and salutations.
90. KENNY! Baller purple suit too! I am so happy to see him back!
91. “Over a year and a half since he’s been in the ring.” Pretty sure his friends made him take some bumps a little while back, but that was a previous “we’re taking over” storyline, so… It’s not the Golden Jets, let’s just all take a moment to appreciate that.
92. Is it a surprise return when you aired a vignette like this week? Just saying…
93. How many hand gestures will the people behind Excalibur and JR make? The world may never know (because it’s At its End.)
94. Will the crowd retain its energy? Do they have anything left for this?
95. “We’re gonna see a lot of conflict during this match.” As opposed to…?
96. The ending of Rampage with everyone getting involved felt like the sense of urgency that had been missing from the Death Riders angle for a while. Everyone was fighting them, but then Orange Cassidy stood alone? But the story they’re telling does continue. OC has stepped up to be a leader of sorts in this main event situation, so that’s something. Darby got thrown down the stairs like Randy Orton spit in his face, so he’ll be back at the Casino Gauntlet as Cactus Allin in a few months, but in the meantime…
97. I never get tired of hearing the Pixies, Jane just didn’t hit the same. Bonus HAM to Justin Roberts’ extra emphasis on “wherever” and “whatever.” It’s the antithesis of his persona, and yet it works.
98. Hangman’s entrance is so awesome, I can’t help it.
99. Everyone be wearing white tonight, but Switchblade might be the most appropriate. For… reasons.
100. JBLdamn, Marina…
101. No other Death Riders visible. The show has been mostly bereft of the aforementioned shenan. I somehow doubt it will stay this way, but at least it won’t feel so repetitive.
102. Hangman and Switchblade are bitching at each other despite unifying multiple times recently, so good to see they’re getting along and going with the plan.
103. Now they’re working 3-on-1 just fine. For now. Oh wait, those shenanigans have arrived rather early. I expected them but not already.
104. I am trying very, very hard to stay awake. Today’s the first day since the 24th with no migraine symptons. This was the worst I’ve had in at least a decade. I hardly ever get personal on this column anymore, but I cannot emphasize enough how difficult this week has been from an energy and sensory standpoint. I don’t even care about holidays but spending all of Christmas in bed with throbbing pain in my eyebrows, jaw, and neck all at the same time is a misery I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Today only the sensory sensitivity has remained and I’d like it to stay that way.
105. How many times do these announcers have to say “are you/you gotta be kidding me” holy shit. It’s not Menard saying it every three sentences, but still… I am so sick of that damn phrase.
106. It’s the Wade Barrett skybox hour , who do we have? Christian Cage! And there’s Hook, come on down!
107. Mox bleeding from the back of his head like he’s Austin at… I forget what show that was, ’01 I think, but it was nasty. So is this. I’ve lost all semblance of complete thought, I have been awake too long.
108. “Strikes of Significance.” A key phrase JR wants you to keep in mind, or an upstart underdog bowling team hoping for some luck. More luck than a guy trapped under a cow. You hold that sign with pride…. I guess.
109. The crowd isn’t dead, but they’re tired too. I can’t blame them, it would be really hard to maintain the energy they’ve had all night, and props to them for holding out as long as they did.
110. Yuta grabbed a foot, and someone asked to stomp his head in the dirt. I think they did because his head bounced off that floor something fierce. The guy who took out the ref is then surprised there’s no ref to count.
111. That got the crowd back in it, Yuta waited to break up a pinfall. Marina comes in and Jay hits the Blade-runner! Damn! Claudio gutwrenches the ref to make the fall for Mox to retain to the surprise of literally no one. All the heels do retain, again. Okay, now what?
112. Yuta throws out the ref because he was there, I suppose. Who they gonna chairstomp now? Switchblade, ti seems.
113. Here comes FTR, a little early for Asheville and they’re not coming alone… Are they?
114. Mr. Copeland out of the heel tunnel. I thought the surprise pop would be saved for Wednesday. Sure, why not? I am never disappointed to see TAFKAE. FTR charges in, and Copeland just watches for funsies. Is it because his brother/former BFF is nearby with his cash-in? Who knows? Bless this crowd for picking back up. We get a Spear, and at least a PPV is ending on an upper note. Christian seems to be on the move like someone’s father is in peril…
115. Copeland’s music starts, and his mic went into business for himself. Copeland is one of the few people who can legitimately call Moxley “kid.” Badass. Not sure how that’s “the heart of AEW standing up to them,” but I’m not complaining either.
116. Excellent, excellent show with a great crowd backing it up nearly the entire night. I’m tired, lots of HAM to go around, and good night.
